Typically, I skim most emails I receive at school. Thank God I paid attention to the email about Passport Camps. A summer camp that wanted seminary students to be their pastors? My interest was piqued, so I applied. When I got to dropdown box for ‘age’, I was scared because mine, 32, was the last possible option. I thought to myself, “I am way too old for summer camp. What in the world have I gotten myself into?” Still, I clicked “Submit,” and somehow got the job.
Fast forward to PDM (Program Directors Meeting – an intense weekend of training). The first night was overwhelming, and it was only checking in at the hotel. One thing I learned quickly about Passport life is that community is not optional. You will eat, sleep and drink your fellow staff members’ company and camp too. You will get tired of each other (and eventually the word community), and then miss each other (and camp) when you go back home.
Back to PDM: From the moment we arrived, it was like a family reunion. I knew no one, but all the returning staff members were so excited to see each other. Everyone was met with a chorus of “Hey!” and “It’s so good to see you.” What followed for the next few days was a barrage of (mainly) extroverted activities, designed to prepare us for a summer of leading camp. I’m an introvert, so by the end of day one I was exhausted, and thinking again, “What in the world…”
And then the thing that made me stay: Passport’s Mission Philosophy.
“We do missions differently….heal and be healed.” Those four words had me hooked. I knew that no matter what this was, I wanted to be a part of it. Passport stands out from other mission organizations by its explicit and humble admission that they (we) are not perfect. We have been wounded and often fail and fall short. Christ corrects, heals and transforms us. Then we get to be agents of this same change for others. I learned that so clearly this summer.
At camp I prayed that the words I preached each night would be my real life, not just a catchy message or phrase. God called me on that request countless times. Day 2 – Jesus’ call to Follow the Road unsettles us. I have the softest voice, and my sermon notes were trying to hide themselves in my Bible. When the microphones refused to work, I had to preach from memory, and often with no amplification. I was pushed way out of my comfort zone. I was living what we staffers were teaching the campers all day. Day 3 – Engaging God & Others with Heart and Mind. Passport is not for the faint of heart! It is one of the most physically and emotionally challenging jobs I have ever had. There is no “8 hour” workday. I had to find enough energy to stay up late or wake up early for personal devotion. The challenge was making sure my relationship with God was not just communal, but still personal, even in the busy Passport world. Not to mention, when patience is thin, the call to love, extend grace, and forgive your fellow staff members when jokes cross the line or you are just tired of looking at each other from all day. It is a really high call. I realized that I often needed them to love, forgive, and extend grace to me too. I could go on with stories from Days 4-6, but I think you get the point.
You see there were days in the beginning, in the middle, and even towards the end where I still wondered, “What in the world have I gotten myself into?” The thing that kept me committed was reflecting on Passport’s Mission Philosophy. I am not perfect, Passport is not perfect, my fellow staff, the campers, the chaperones. All of us are healing and being healed. In fact, that was really the whole point of the summer. I was constantly reminded that following Jesus is a journey. As I follow, I learn so much about myself, about others, and about God. Some of what I learn about myself is not pretty. God offers me healing and a chance to become something beautiful. Passport offered me a chance to experience that healing in community. A community of campers who left lasting impressions on my heart, chaperones and group leaders who encouraged and affirmed me, and coworkers who became my friends.